Egg Noodles
by Alabaster Ink
Summary: Naruto finds out he's allergic to gluten. No pairings.


**To express my own upset at no longer being able to eat instant ramen. This is probably crack, but I'm craving ramen and since I can't eat it I want everyone to suffer with me…**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing…**

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Uzumaki Naruto was no stranger to stomachaches. With the rotten food, spoiled milk, and his just plain unhealthy childhood diet, stomach problems were a common occurrence. However, this time he was sure the milk was fine and he had never had any problems with ramen before. It wasn't a terrible ache thankfully, but it was still uncomfortable and annoying to deal with. Deciding that the milk he had for lunch wasn't as good as he thought, the Genin chucked the milk into the sink and left, confident the pain would go away with time.

It was only by sheer luck that the twelve-year old made it through training that day. His stomach hadn't gotten any better and all he really wanted to do was curl up in bed. The problem with this was that for the first time in, well, ever, Kakashi managed to cajole all three of his darling students out to dinner that night as a team. Naruto was beginning to wonder if he was being punished for something. Honestly, this never happened and the one time it did he was miserable. The only light for the boy was the fact that Kakashi knew most establishments' contempt for the jinchuuriki and so led the lagging blond, brooding Uchiha, and fawning girl towards Ichiraku's.

Naruto was sure the old owner's eyebrows shot up in surprise when he only ordered one bowl of noodles, but the blond didn't think he would be able to eat very much. When the bowl was placed in front of him, he glanced at his teammates eating their own food with a gusto that only came from a hard day of training with no breaks. As much as he normally would have dived into the meal also, tonight he slowly ate the ramen, feeling the stabbing pains in his gut increase with each bite. He didn't even get halfway through his food before the need to throw up overtook him, and so he hurriedly raced around the side of the stand, collapsed to his knees and proceeded to expel everything he had eaten that day. The pain increased with each contraction of his stomach to the point where he couldn't even feel Kakashi place a comforting hand on his back. The boy's vision began to blur as the world swayed around him and the last thing he saw before he blacked out was the concerned and frightened face of his sensei.

He woke up in a hospital bed the next day to a surprisingly full room. Kakashi sat fast asleep in the chair closest to the bed, with Iruka opposite him on the other side. Sasuke and Sakura, he noted with some shock, were also there, curled up in separate corners with blankets draped over them. It took him a moment to remember what happened that would have put him in this situation, but all he could recall was a lot of pain and vomit. The groan he released upon trying to move easily alerted the other shinobi in the room that he was awake and almost immediately he was bombarded with "you're awake," "what happened," and his favorite, "how are you?".

Thankfully, by the time he was able to gather his thoughts in order to even begin to answer, the door slid open to reveal a relieved, and if Naruto didn't know better, a slightly amused Tsunade. She had a clipboard in her hand and her usual hospital garb on, looking as refreshed as ever. Her blue eyes raked over the boy and before he could even begin to formulate a greeting, she smirked and placed her hands at her hips, no longer trying to hide how amused she was.

"Well Naruto, you've done a lot of crazy things, but I think this takes the cake," she said with that voice that reminded Naruto of a scolding housewife. But, at the end of the day, he was still Uzumaki Naruto and that tone did nothing to stop him from talking back.

"What did I do!? I didn't do anything!" He waved his arms around as if to emphasize the point, but Tsunade only seemed to find this funnier.

"Ah, but here's where I'm right, Gaki, and you're wrong." She flicked his forehead and continued to smirk as he swatted her hand away.

"What the hell, Obaa-san!"

Now, normally, this little moniker would have enraged the older woman, but today she appeared to let it slide. Something was going on and Naruto didn't think he wanted to know what it was.

"Please, Hokage-sama," Iruka spoke up from the background. "What's wrong with Naruto?"

The other people in the room gazed imploringly at the medic nin and she handed the clipboard over to the academy teacher. The man read it once, then twice, before lifting a pitying gaze to his once student. Now Naruto was really starting to get worried. Was it serious? Was he dying?

"Oh, Naruto…"

"What? WHAT?" The blond moved his head from side to side in a panic. Tsunade, apparently taking pity on the boy, smiled and reached out to ruffle his hair.

"Congratulations Gaki, you're allergic to gluten!"

There was a moment of silence before Sakura began to giggle behind her hands and the worst smirk Naruto had ever seen appeared across Sasuke's face. Kakashi's mask was crinkled in mirth and his eyes, while filled with some remorse, were mostly dancing in humour.

"I don't get it. What does that mean? Why is this funny?" If Sasuke's expression was anything to go by, this wasn't going to be good.

"In layman's terms?"

"Yeah."

"You're allergic to ramen."

And Naruto's world completely crumbled out from under him.

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**I feel slightly better, but still not enough. Sigh. If anyone knows some good gluten-free ramen I would love to hear about it. Well, it's back to anatomy for me, but have a great night/day depending on where you are. **

**BYE!**

**~Alabaster Ink**


End file.
